THE DISTRACTION CALLED DATING PART 2 By Dr. Bien Sufficient
WHAT EXACTLY IS DATING?
According to Wikipedia, The most common idea is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they are compatible by going out together in public as a complete who may or may not yet be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.
Different people might have different definitions of what dating is to them. For me dating is a complete distraction, a waste of time and a license to engage in premature/ premarital romance and sex.Why do I give this definition to dating?
If you take a complete analysis of dating and friendship, there is actually nothing you get from dating that you can’t get from friendship. Except the fact that dating creats that room where it seems to be okay to do a little bit of touching, it doesn’t hurt, caressing, it still doesn’t hurt, kissing and finally sex.
In most of these instances the people involved in this whole process of dating do not really get to know themselves that well, because they are preoccupied with how to make there dating time interesting and fun. Planning of activities, where to go, what movie to watch etc. and the only time they get alone, romance follows and the date is over.
I had this friend of mine, who has been dating a lady for about two years now, the lady now happens to be my friend too through him. So I am friends with the both of them. I got so interested in the way their whole dating process was going and how long it has taken and I am not seeing any progress.
So I asked the guy involved what exactly is going on? Why have you not yet proposed to this girl, when are you two getting married? Well I can be very nosy sometimes I agree; I don’t know how to keep quiet when I see something going wrong around me, especially with my friends.
To my amazement his response was, we are still trying to know ourselves. I was shocked! Are you kidding me, you guys have been dating for two years and you are yet to know yourselves? Well that’s the truth was his response. You know me better than she does, there are so many things you know about me that she does not know about me. So what exactly have you guys been doing all this years of dating was my question. I decided to ask the girl in question, and she said I love him but I am not really sure if he is the one, besides he has not proposed so we are still getting to know ourselves better.
While did I decide to bring this story here, I just want to establish the fact that in most cases those who engage in dating hardly “get to know themselves” as they say is the purpose of the dating. It only builds so much tension for the two people involve, Sexual and perfection tension etc. they are trying so hard to make their dates effective, fun and standard, that they forget what was the purpose of the dating in the first place.
In the atmosphere of good friendship, you are free to talk about anything, being yourself, not trying to impress anyone. You have more time to talk to yourselves about yourselves and other areas of interest in live. You are not preoccupied with what kind of outing you should go for, what should be your location etc. it just comes natural, this person is your friend.
So you have more time to get to know this person with no or less sexual tension. You are free around them and at home when they are around. You don’t have to get fixedbefore you meet with your friend but with your date you have to be fixed. So friends his to me is natural, dating is staged.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against those who choose to date, is just a matter of understanding, choice and personality differences. The idea I don’t like, is making dating look compulsory as if is something that must be done, in other to get married or have a successful marriage.
To be continued…
Dr. Bien Sufficient.
Author, The Single, Ministry and Sexual Purity.
President, Kingdom Lifestyle Movement, Ukraine.